Cabin Fever

We've been hanging out at home for a few days, just playing and being home bodies. Yesterday it rained pretty hard for a while, so the ground is soaked! Today, it's kindof nice out, so what to do? It's New Years Eve, malls are packed, the ground is too wet and it's too cold for a park.... so I took the boys to the overlook at the airport. We live so close, why not? The boys had fun watching all of the airplanes land and take off just a few feet away from us, and we had a wonderful view of uptown! Jesse kept saying 'Aaa-cane' everytime one landed, and 'bye-bye' everytime one took off while Ezra and I counted how many, compared the large to the smaller ones, etc.
Sidenote - what have I taught my toddler when he uses his 'cellphone' when I'm on mine? Ha! Is this a picture of things yet to come??? Notice his paci in his mouth while he's imitating me. I gave him an old phone of mine. So I had a call come in on our way back from the little field trip today, and I had to take a pic at the stop light!

Curious Jesse

Is Curious George rubbing off on my son?!?!?! We have a collection of Curious George books and occasionally watch it on PBS... I have Curious Jesse! He gets into everything, under everything, and climbs onto everything. I turn around and he's hanging with Elmo on the coffee table - as if it's a lounge chair. The 'did I do something' innocent look came out and he acted like he was showing me something in what seemed to be an effort to avoid being told 'tables are not for climbing'.

Christmas Day with Our Boys

This morning Jesse slept until 8am, for the first time in a while Ezra was up before Jesse. I slept in (7:30am WOOHOO) and then got up to make coffee for myself and make sure all was ready for picture taking. The boys opened their gifts around 830am, then we had a big Christmas breakfast together. The favorite gifts as of right now are...

Ezra - Lego's Star Wars The Complete Saga XBox 360 Game & the Star Wars Storm Troopers action figures... he also was really excited about his magnet kit.

Jesse - Classic Jack in the Box, and Tickle Me Elmo TMX

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We plan to relax and enjoy our time together for the rest of the day! Jesse's napping now, and Jonathon and Ezra are checking out the new Xbox game.

Christmas Eve

Tonight we had Mimi and Papaw over for Christmas Eve dinner and gifts. We had a nice meal together and fun at the table just talking in general. After dinner and cleaning up, the boys opened their gifts.

Ezra received a Transformer's Bumblebee toy that said 'for 5 and up' for the age group.... this proved to be a difficult task for 2 grown men (Jonathon, Richard) and Ezra. Transforming it was not easy! They did succeed after about 20 minutes of wrestling with the small moving parts. Ezra really seems to enjoy it!

Jesse absolutely loves his Little Tykes rocking puppy (not horse, puppy) and his Aqua Doodle wall mat that you paint with water! Those are his favorites!

Over the river and thru the woods..

To grandmother's house we went.... we went to the NC Mountains for Christmas with my mom on Sunday. Nicholas, Haleigh, Jesse, Ezra, Jonathon and I packed into a van and headed out, it was pouring when we left but when we arrived there the sun was out and it was a decent day! We enjoyed a wonderful meal with my mom, and enjoyed opening gifts with the kids. It was bitter sweet - the kids were there, my brother Chris was there and we had a nice time with them, it was very hard without my brother Mike. Everyday without him is difficult for us all.

Ezra received a Lego's Castle kit from Grandma - he's already started building it! Jesse received a mini 4-wheeler Power Wheels, he's not quite sure of himself on it yet, but he is getting more curious each time he gets on there.

A gathering like no other

Today we went to my dad's where there were appx 14 adults and 13 kids... a spread of food that passed for a small home style buffet and two Christmas trees with gifts for each little girl and boy in the house. It was a simple and laid back event, bring 1 gift for each child that you have of your own. We drew names - we had 2 to buy for. Otherwise, bring yourself and a covered dish and prepare to enjoy time together. After the yummy meal, there was a special remembrance of loved ones who couldn't be with us because they've gone before us... lighting of memorial candles and Denise and Dad said a few words about the loved ones that candles were lit in honor of, and after a moment of prayer and silence, we moved on to what was the most interesting event I've ever witnessed. When each of the 13+ kids (can't count them all in my head right now) had their gifts, chaos began!!! For each kid there were the single gifts from the other kids, and then there were gifts from gma and gpa... oh my it was just paper tossing and gasps of joy everywhere!!

I bet you're wondering why there are no photos? This would be because I walked out of my house and left my camera with freshly charged batteries sitting on the bar. I'm waiting to see if my dad sends me some pics to post... so check back on this post later!!

Both boys had a BLAST! They received lots of goodies... Ezra's favorite was the Lego's kit (of course) and Transformer's backpack, and Jesse's favorite was the V-tech baby laptop and Elmo book "It's Potty Time".

Holiday Formality

Today we ventured out to Concord Mills (close to our house and usually INSANE this time of year) for our photo op with Santa. I asked Ezra if he wanted his pic taken w/ Santa, but he said no thanks. So Jesse and I went ... I had no intentions of being in the picture, obviously, I looked like total crap hadn't really addressed my hair or makeup at all. So, as we passed the other idiots last minute shoppers in the mall, I noticed there was no one at all in line! I was suprised, the mall was packed. Jesse seemed as if he wasn't really interested in Santa, and I could tell that if I didn't hand hold him a bit he would likely cry and it would be over without a picture. So, minus my being unprepared, it was worth it for the tear free photo. Well, the way I see it, I only have a few more years of bringing Jesse for photos with Santa for blackmail and embarassment our scrapbooks. The day will come where he'll say 'no thanks' just like Ezra did today.

I looked back at last year's Santa photo and notice how much 1 year changes a baby! Wow! He was chubby and pulling at his ears because of teething, getting his very first teeth in... it's odd, because exactly 1 year later he's getting the last 4 in!

Above picture 2006 - Jesse was 11 months old.

23 months old - 2007

My SIL mentioned that Santa 2007 looks a bit like a pedifile creepy to her... and now that I look more closely, I think she may be onto something. HA!!

The Boyz

Jesse's emerging from baby into boy, it amazes me daily how quickly he is learning. He watches everything, and takes so much in at once. Below are photos taken when we were on our way to Wilson (3 hours one way) for a 1 day only trip (see Dec. 15 post on trip)... left at 9am, arrived in Wilson just at noon, arrived back in home at 5pm. Long day - just over 6 hours of driving, and the toddler didn't complain once. He did give me pout face when I discouraged the idea of tossing his cup into the back of my seat... but otherwise he was a dream. I had to take pictures of pout face, there were no sounds, just the hands on the face with sad eyes of a boy who really really wanted to use his cup as a rocket launcher. Seriously, not even one whimper of complaint - I was tired of the car about 1/2 way back home! He totally has individuality, he's becoming such an interesting person!

A while back I bought a ball pit, it used to have a net dome over it, but that quickly became target of body slamming and pile driving into the pit. Boys, that's what they do! Each day after his homework is completed, Ezra has a routine of playing with Jesse... this is ALWAYS their first stop. Jesse loves just the idea of sitting in the ball pit with his big brother. They usually throw the balls at each other until they're all out of the ball pit. On this particular day I turned on a recorded episode of Barney for Jesse. He watches Barney and Sesame Street every day. He LOVES it. Me, not so much with Barney - but it is fine in moderation.

On the light side of things...

I enjoy having laughter during my day as often as possible. This is both alarming and hilarious... you can't help but laugh in the face of ignorance on this one!

I can't help but play it over just to hear the reporter laughing...

A Birthday Tribute

Today went to Wilson, NC. We arrived there just before noon, and at 12:30 met with family and a few close friends to send 40 white balloons in the air as a tribute to Mike's 40th birthday. It was cold & windy, but we gathered, dad said some words, we had a short prayer and after a song played we released 40 white balloons and several red balloons symbolic of those who gathered to pay tribute to this day.

Happy 40th to my big brother Mike - I'm sure he's celebrating even though he's not here with us any longer...


Photo Tribute to Josh Groban's "To Where You Are"

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Something Symbolic

I'm not going to mislead anyone, Christmas this year is extremely sad for me and my entire family... I think it's important for anyone who hasn't ever lost a loved one to know that there's really no end to the grieving process; or at least in my perspective, I see no real end to feeling a grief like this. Those who lose loved ones never stop grieving, or grieve less - we just grieve differently. I've been fortunate, I've not had to deal with this type of grief in my life until very recently... sure I've lost grandparents, when I was very young, and I understood how impacting death was in our family just by seeing the sadness of my own parents when their parents died. This does not compare to my own personal sadness now, a brother - in my life for 31 years, someone so important to me that he was the very FIRST person I called, after telling my husband, when we found out I was pregnant while still sitting in the bathroom holding the pregnancy test. This is someone I could share anything with, better then a best friend, because he HAD to love me no matter what, and did. Before he died, I had some kind of assumption that grieving would get 'easier', where on earth did I get that idea? You learn from your own experiences, and since I'd never experienced that kind of grief, I really couldn't relate. I'm trying to accept my grief, and in some weird way it sometimes seems a gift, simply because my hurting and my grieving proves that I was privileged enough to really love this person and was loved back, to really love someone is to know that your heart can be broken - thus the saying 'love hurts' is not necessarily directly applied to husbands/wives, etc. Any love hurts - when it is gone.

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This year, I've bought two little ornaments for our tree - one in memory of Susan my step-mother who battled and fought a brave fight with cancer for 10 months and was taken from this world just 2 years ago. I bought a birdhouse, anyone who knew Susan knew that she LOVED birdhouses! The other ornament is for my brother Mike, who left this world on August 6, 2007. I bought a silver deer to symbolize something that he enjoyed. In the center is a 'peace angel' that I found with a beautiful etching on it. Just something symbolic, something to bring a little smile or spark a memory, something that the kids can be part of...

Time Out!

This is what timeout is beginning to look like, laying on the floor with the 'what did I do' look on his face. Sitting is the typical idea of timeout, but at 23 months, for 1.5 minutes of timeout - I'll take it whatever way I can get it, and honestly, it doesn't happen too often, YET. Why give this time out you may wonder??? Jesse thought it would be adventurous to climb the lower handle for the drawer beneath the oven door. Our door to the oven locks, so it can't be pulled open by curious toddlers... but not everyone's does! The natural consequence of opening an oven door is not a safe one, so timeout seemed the way to go on this one. I compromised, and gave him his stepping stool to help me mix (imaginary ingredients on the counter top). Hopefully by giving a safer alternative to his curiosity of climbing will welcome safer choices by the toddling one.

Like Everyone Else

Jesse is going through a very independent stage in development. Age appropriate, by the books, pediatricians, and all other mom's I talk to. However, it's so interesting to watch him adapt, learn, and advance. He's aware of so much going on around him, he pays attention and doesn't miss a thing. Right now he's driven to sit at the table in the kitchen, we have a dining room that we never use so these are the chairs he has access too. Every day (as posted in November) he moves the dinette chairs to a new position. He's great at rearranging! This morning - he was interested in sitting with his OJ while Ezra had breakfast... in his PJ's in these pictures.

A favorite poem of mine from an unknown writer...

The Little One That Follows Me"
Author: Unknown

A careful woman, I ought to be;

a little one follows me.

I do not dare to go astray,

for fear they'll go,

the self-same way.

I cannot once escape their eyes,

whatever they see me do, they'll try.

Like me, they say, they're going to be,

that little one that follows me.

They think that I am good and fine;

believe in every work of mine.

The bad in me they must not see;

my life to them, must, an example be.

I must remember, as I go,through summer's sun and winter's snow,

I'm building for the years to be,for that little one that follows me.

Oh Christmas Tree

Here's our tree... it's been up since last week. We don't do a tree topper, it's just not that big of a tradition for us. We decorate it, together - and that's a family tradition. Ezra enjoyed hanging his special ornaments on the tree. Jesse enjoys taking them off! Gifts are landing under the tree now, and it looks more and more like Christmas in there every day! Ezra keeps checking tags trying to find his own gifts... HA!

Sunday Scribbles

We made our own salt dough and Jesse enjoys cutting, shaping and pressing into it. Note the shopping basket in the floor filled with pretend food and a pretend cutting board (pretend knife in his hand). He enjoys imitation play, so while I'm cooking, he helps with his grocery basket ingredients...

Ezra spent the morning doing several things. After he made his breakfast and ate, he helped me with Jesse up until his morning nap. Then he and I set out on an adventure of making more salt dough for a new project. Once we started phase one of our project, we moved on to getting dinner started... we're having a crock pot meal tonight so we had to chop veggies, and add them in to get it started for a slow cook for several hours. We loaded the dishwasher together while we waited on part of our project to dry... while that was drying he took some free time, lately his free time is 100% Lego's. He loves to build and create!

Here's a photo of one of the test projects; we are working diligently on handmade crafts this season.

December 1

Most of the day was spent getting some errands ran (groceries, Hobby Lobby, etc) and getting things done around the house in general.

Tonight after dinner, Ezra and Jesse watched a 30 min cartoon that we record once a week. Jonathon had to take a picture of them… Jesse copies EVERYTHING that Ezra does now, and the sitting down to watch a completely un-educational, goofy cartoon for 30 min was not an exception. We monitor TV time in general, giving other opportunities and ways to occupy time, and V-Chip controls access. This is the one 30 min a week we allow pure mindless goofiness, and both boys just laughed at the silly show. We aren’t TV Police, our boys just simply don’t seem to care either way at this point in our lives, Jesse likes the Wiggles and Sesame Street. Ezra used to care more about it, but over the last few years he cares less and less… maybe it’s the v-chip, who knows!
I’ve decided that since my 30 days of thanks is over and I found it uplifting to make it a point to mentally think each day of small details that make me grateful. So for the month of December I’m going to use the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation’s guide for 100 ideas for Kindness.

It happened again.

It happened again... I've been hit by another random act of kindness. A few weeks back, a random act of kindness was bestowed upon my family... and again today, by someone else all together. I work for someone who has a kind heart - I've been working as a independent contractor for the company I previously worked for up until Jesse's birth (worked there just over 6 years) and I must say I was surprised when I left there today. Remember the tire incident (below post)... I'll just spare the details personal finances and say that we're not frivolous in spending, so a tire incident (just after spending over 500.00 on new ones) wasn't in our plans... we're in no position to just toss money here and there with me deciding to stay home and changing our income significantly by becoming self-employed. Anyway... as I was getting ready to write a check today, my employer hands me my keys and says to have a good afternoon and to get going, he knew I was in a hurry to get Ezra from school and was 1 hour away at the dealer, I was stunned. I left there not owing them a dime, and on top of that he noticed my oil change was due and handled that as well. I'm just at a loss for words - random acts of kindness are few and far between really, and for me to be given the gift of two in one month - well, that's something to be thankful for right there!

"Surround yourself with people who respect and treat you well." -Claudia Black.....I'm thankful for being surrounded by good people.

Missing a screw.

Someone in in this city is missing a screw. I would know this because it is in my left rear tire. It's on the edge of my left rear tire in the tread near the sidewall preventing my tire from being repairable. I knew this the instant I saw it, and then thought to myself - what else did I expect? I heard a strange noise after pulling away from a stoplight, and immediately knew something was wrong with one of the back tires. Go figure, these tires are practically new! Oh well... I went to the Honda dealer just after Jesse's nap since the tire wasn't flat yet; I work for Ford and Toyota from home (and they generally take care of our cars), but Honda was closer and it IS a Honda so thankfully by knowing a few people there from business, they swapped out my tire and put on the spare for me at no cost. I called the dealer I do work for, and they ordered me a tire at cost. Just what I wanted to do was spend 135.00 right here at Christmas time on a tire that is only 7 months old! Oh well, it is what it is! Merry Christmas to me!!

Today I'm thankful that there was a screw in my tire and that it stayed there - I didn't get stranded with a 22 month old on the side of a busy road.

Less is more...

Usually we decorate a little throughout the entire house having hints of the holidays added here and there. I’m not sure to what extent we’ll go this year since we have a toddling one who’s interested in all things shiny and round! Our tree, as usual, will be in the formal living area which is gated off when we’re not in there – so no worries there. Our house is has more of an open floor plan, so everything is easy access, not alot of doors. I’ve decided to do a special Jesse tree (below on foyer table). We just prefer our big tree at the front window so that’s where it is. The kids will help me decorate it tomorrow… I’ll post a photo once we’re done!
I'm almost finished with what I am doing to the mantle, the stocking hangers are there w/o stockings for now, Jesse would pull them off and the stocking hangers are hard and could hurt him badly – so all you see is NOEL on my mantle!
We’re planning to finish up the stair spindles with the garland this week and get the tree up… I have the wreath up at the upper level of the foyer now, but it's not complete until we add the rest of the garland. Ezra has a special tree of his own for his room and wants to spend a little of his allowance money on some mini decorations for his bathroom. He’s in the holiday spirit of decorating also!

Alot of the decorations I have to sit out are breakables, and Jesse could get hurt. I could try to prove a point to him and keep saying ‘no’ (he hears that enough when we go elsewhere now), but instead, I just choose to make life at home easier and happier for all of us, what toddler likes hearing ‘no touch’ all flipping day in his own home just because I decided to add more stuff ?!?! It's not about impressing the neighbors, or feeling like our house belongs in magazines because of decorations, it's simply about a little holiday spirit for our home, that's all! Less IS more for my decorations this year!

I'm thankful for having a pre-lit tree!

better I think

Feeling sick for more then a day or so for the first time in over 2 years has been a change! I can’t say how fortunate I’ve been not to get a bad cold, sinus infection, etc., since early pregnancy. I think I’m on the mend officially – this is a short blog post simply because I’m going to say what I’m thankful for today…

Today I’m thankful that I’m feeling more like me.

Speaking of me, I had several inches of hair cut off - a much needed change and a bit more of a style then my former mommy 'do'. Not a great photo moment, but there's my new 'do'.

this and that…

I make little goals (and big ones of course) for myself… we all do I suppose. Plans to get the laundry done, plans to make a specific phone call, plans to get the tree up (one of my current goals). I consider myself quite goal oriented. Today I had plans to get my tree downstairs while the boy napped; but for a while during his nap I talked to my brother, Chris. I worked during the rest of his nap, (instead of cleaning or getting the tree down) and managed to get only the garland on the upper stair spindles in the foyer and decorate the foyer table and mantle. I played a few games with Jesse after he woke from nap, read the same book at least 7 times because he kept saying ‘more’. I helped Ezra with homework and we talked about kickball. As a result, our tree rests in the same spot it did yesterday. I had some goals set, but I threw them out the window today. I didn’t make that phone call I wanted to make, I didn’t mail out the information I planned to mail out today, I didn’t get my tree up. I don’t feel in anyway irresponsible for not meeting those goals because in general I am on top of things.

I did… learn that my toddler loves the new Christmas books Grandma Betty sent, I did learn that my 4th grader played kickball today and didn’t give up because he got out, I did listen while my brother needed to talk, I did play peekaboo and open and shut the same cabinet door (his Tupperware cabinet) about 50 times with my toddler. I did watch a 22 month old organize chairs for a little over 30 minutes as if it was his #1 priority, and I did not let time pass me by with my family today. I guess when all is said and done everything that was required of me was done today, my job for the company I work for, school for Ezra, learning activities with Jesse, meals for my family, all of my mommy duties were handled with loving care. I didn’t do what I ‘planned’ to do today though; instead I decided to do what seemed right.

I’m thankful for peek-a-boo, slamming cabinet doors for fun, and kickball stories.

This happens at least 10 times a day...
The end result today, the new seating arrangements are in front of the stove.

All in my head

I don’t really have a topic today, it’s Sunday and my sinus infection just went on rewind for me. I’m back to chills, no fever yet, head hurts worse then day 1 and now I think I may lose my voice if I cough much more. I’m on day 4 of antibiotics – I’d think they would be working a bit by now, but I’m no doctor. I’ve been very fortunate, and have not been ‘sick’ since just before I was pregnant with Jesse. I am trying to ride it out, suck it up, you know – be a mommy martyr. At night, it feels like my head may in fact explode. I plan to call the doctor back in the morning.

On an up note, the decorations are out of the attic now and are in the living room ready to be placed where they belong. I will set a goal of Wednesday to have decorations completed. Hopefully I can motivate myself between working during Jesse’s naps and at night, school commutes, doctors’ appt’s this week and generally doing mommy things. I will say that our tree, has been stored in the extra bedroom turned office/playroom since last Christmas; it only occurred to me this past week how we could manage to put it in the attic without breaking our backs. Why is it that the logic light bulb was off for so long? It has to weigh 70+ pounds, it’s a 7 foot pre-lit tree and it’s a huge box. Here’s where the light bulb came on… I was putting things away from Halloween decorations, etc. and thought of a brilliant idea (sarcasm intended). I thought I’d take the tree on down myself (middle of the day, husband not here) and I could do that since it is in 3 pieces… LIGHTBULB MOMENT: I’m so smart – we can put the empty box up in the attic, and after Christmas we can take the tree up piece by piece therefore eliminating broken back potential. HOW SMART AM I??? HA.

I am on the prowl for some easy toddler/kid pleasing recipes. If anyone has veggie prominent recipes that you’d love to share with me, please do! Both boys love veggie fritters and I’m about tired of making them, so I’m looking for a easy way to incorporate multiple veggies in one bite (carrots, any squash, corn, broccoli, spinach, sweet potato, potato).

I am thankful that I can laugh at myself when I have a light bulb moment.

Taking it easy

Today was a day spent at home with our boys. We laughed, played, napped, read books, learned some new things (including signs!), goofed off in the leaves again and in the evening enjoyed dinner with Mimi and Papaw. The boys had such a great time today playing, and hanging out with Mimi and Papaw when they came over. Jesse is attached to Ezra's leg as often as possible. He sits beside him if he's sitting, when he's up he follows him all over, talks to him every chance he can, does high-five with him. He's so into his big brother right now.

This has been a very relaxing Thanksgiving weekend for us. Jonathon has been off of work since 2pm Wednesday, Ezra's out of school and enjoying his mini-break (3 days), and the only errands to run since Wednesday have been a 1 hour trip out Friday afternoon for me to grab a few items that we knew were on sale. Of course, the short travel (2 hours away, not far!) on Thanksgiving Day to be with family, otherwise it's been SO relaxing! Thankfully, I'm feeling much better now!

A random note...I found Pac-Man!! Ok, it's silly - but seriously, everyone needs to lighten up from time to time... so I thought I'd invite anyone with a sense of humor to take a moment and remember the good ol' days of Atari!!! Just use your arrow keys, enjoy!





I am thankful for the mini vacation of Thanksgiving I've had with my husband and kids at home, relaxing.

The List

We're 99% done! Christmas shopping began last year after Christmas for me. We don't go overboard in general, and this year is even more frugal then ever! We prefer to do for the kids, and give a simple gift to Grandparents from the kids. Time together as a family, watching the little ones light up with excitement, enjoying some good home cooked food, you can't put a pricetag on that. That's plenty for me! I love decorations, the all of the smells of Christmas, and the laughter of kids.

I went to Toys R Us today because they had a Jack in the Box (one exactly like I had when I was little) and saw INSANITY. I can't get my head around parents spending hundreds of dollars on Christmas each year. There were several couples in there with multiple carts filled as high as they could pile them. It's over the top, and gets worse each year. I'll never quite understand that. A woman and her husband checked out beside me and had a total due of just over 700.00, I almost gasped out loud and caught myself. I tried not to judge, and thought MAYBE she's buying for more then her own kids? Maybe she's buying for charity too? Does any of that even add up to logical? 700.00 spent in Toys R Us - not me, no thanks!

We'll put our tree up next week, I had planned to do that today but just didn't get motivated! We haven't even pulled down the decoration boxes from the attic yet, I guess we may do that Sunday. I'm just thrilled that all I have left to do is get a few cards in the mail, get some stocking stuffers, and 2 small gifts for teachers (getting those tomorrow). Then we'll be completely done.

Today I am thankful that the antibiotics seem to be working! I am feeling a little better and actually haven't used 2 boxes of tissue yet today!!

Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving Day. We went to my mom’s, it's something we’ve tried to do yearly as a family. Sometimes we would get together the weekend after Thanksgiving day depending on schedules. Today was awkward, and void of the laughter that we usually share. Sitting at the table, was awkward. Why? Well, because Mike wasn’t there to compliment mom’s turkey, or even carve it for her… which she cried about because carving the turkey was something he took upon himself since she butchered it as he put it! He wasn’t there to reminisce about silly things we did as kids, to share with his own kids parts of our past. Mike’s kids couldn’t come; they were with their mom this year. My brother Chris was there and my family of course, with mom and Jack. The kids had a blast, playing, goofing off, eating mom’s food and having a few of the sweet treats she makes each year. Jesse played picaboo with Chris, and that was so fun to watch. Ezra drew a few pictures for mom’s fridge, taught her about some of his toys… it was nice. But the room wasn’t at all the same…

Who would have ever thought that this would happen? Death has a way of humbling you, making you see every moment for it’s worth. My entire life spent as a minister’s daughter, I’ve seen mounds of death – been to funeral upon funeral upon funeral. I’ve seen babies who’ve died, friends and family. This last 3 years of my life have made me a different person. I’m grateful for how my eye’s have been opened, yet saddened by the means in which they were. It’s fair to say that in the last 3 years alone with Jonathon’s heart attack then surgery, Susan’s death, and now Mike’s death, I feel as if my plate is now full of life altering change. Death is life altering for those of us left to grieve it, it is unavoidable and real. It hurts, deeply to the bone. I’ve obsessed about what if’s since Mike died, what IF he hadn’t have been in the back yard? What if… I know there is no logical reason to sit and do this to myself, but I still do because I’m human.

This post doesn’t have a profound conclusion, it wasn’t meant to. I’m just getting my feelings out. Today was hard. Empty chairs at a table speak volumes when they’re empty because someone is gone. Reality is that as quickly my brother was here then gone, tomorrow just as easily it could be me.

I am thankful for having today.

Not the Flu!

No flu for me!! It’s something else, and my fever is gone today (so far anyway). The doctor took her time with me today discussing the recent events with my brother’s passing, the medical findings after his death are significant, and she took her time to go over what tests we should run and I agreed to them.

I am thankful for doctors who actually look at you like you’re a person, not just a paycheck. Our family will get the flu shot in the upcoming week!

Memo - No sick days for mom

You can’t call in sick on the job, when the job is being mom! I’m not saying in anyway that my kids weren’t understanding… but they still needed me and I didn’t want to be needed today! I had a high fever all day, finally got an appointment with the doctor for tomorrow – I’m worried it’s the flu at this point. But life went on in our house, diapers still got changed, kids got fed, taken to and picked up from school, my work was completed for the day (job), and then my husband comes home and says ‘if it’s the flu, wouldn’t you feel a lot worse’???? Now, my husband IS understanding, and is NOT pigheaded when it comes to someone who is sick – but this question made me think about my own mom! When in my entire life do I remember ever seeing her so sick that she couldn’t manage to get our days handled, meals prepared, house remained tidy and in order, and schedules remained as best they could. I can count on one hand how many times I remember actually seeing my mom so physically sick from either the flu, or a surgical procedure that she couldn’t go on in her day. I’ve decided mom’s are built with superhero genes, and it’s not at all like being a martyr. A mom’s work must be done. That’s how our love goes!

Today I am thankful for my understanding husband and children. (I wrote this post on Wed. morning – trying my best to keep up with my 30 days of thanks!)

Frugal tips

I follow a few blogs and this was posted recently and I thought it was a thrifty way to be simple and tasteful at Christmas. I especially loved the apples & oranges baked and in my case I will fill a small vase with them along with a little scented potpourri and cinnamon and add a 1.00 strand of white Christmas lights to make my own scented warmers! I’m not so hot on the idea of the tree skirt, or the overall idea of #3 – I prefer my tree w/o a lot of bulky garland. I usually garnish our tree with floral inserts with pine cones and sprigs to make it a little earthy. We are decorating our tree this coming Friday!

Keeping Christmas Decorating Affordable

We all love the look of a beautiful home decked with boughs of holly for the Christmas season, but we don’t all have the budget it takes to create the elaborate displays we see in malls and magazines. By keeping it simple and choosing carefully from nature, the grocery store, and the dollar store, you can create a holiday home resplendent with the sights and smells of Christmas without breaking the bank. Here are ten simple ideas to get you started:

1. Take a long walk in the woods with a good pair of hand sheers and a large carrying sac. Cut down a mix of long and short pine tree branches and holly branches. Collect fresh pinecones off the forest floor. Use this collection to dress mantles and windowsills. Fill the space above your kitchen counters with a mix of Christmas greenery. Create garland and wrap railings using thin green craft wire.

2. Accent greenery with pine cones, ribbon, and votive candles placed in small Mason jars. Anchor the candles in cranberries. Tie thin ribbon or twine around the mouth of each jar.

3. Cut apples and oranges into thin circles and dry them on cookie trays in the oven at 200 degrees. Remove them from the oven when they look slightly shriveled and lightly browned. Create a simple garland for the tree by stringing them on twine. Alternate them with cranberries. Add pine cones, bows, simple dollar-store wooden ornaments, inexpensive red balls, and white lights for a beautiful, old-fashioned Christmas tree.

4. Hot-glue ribbon on one half of one side of a long strip of brown paper. Artfully wrap the bottom of the tree for a matching tree skirt. Check office supply stores for corrugated brown paper for a more unique look.

5. Wrap a few empty multi-shaped boxes with brown paper and ribbon and scatter them under tree.

6. Fill a large clear bowl or a tall vase with small green pears, cranberries and a few sprigs of holly to create an inexpensive centerpiece for your dining room table. Rest it in a blanket of greenery.

7. Use some of the greenery you collected to wrap an inexpensive wreath frame. Attach small pears to the wreath with green craft wire. Purchase a small stuffed Partridge at the craft store and attach it to the wreath with wire. Finish off with a simple bow.

8. Buy 6 to 12 paper white bulbs at a nursery - usually about a dollar each. Plant them in mason jars half filled with just about anything – potting soil, small stones, fake cranberries, craft moss, potpourri, (about six weeks before Christmas.) Trim the jars with ribbon or twine or drop them into small brown bags rolled down to the mouth of the jar and tied with twine. Scatter them around the house, and nestle them into greenery. Keep them moist and on Christmas day they will not only look beautiful, but they will fill every room with their sweet smell.

9. Buy a battery operated or electric candle for every downstairs or front window in your house. They sell these at most dollar stores and they make both the outside and the inside of your home look warm, inviting and festive.

10. Hang a sprig of Mistletoe in your front hallway or on the doorframe to the living room and take advantage of its presence whenever it pleases you.

Today I am thankful for Melanie, who manages to make me laugh even when I think it’s not possible!!

The Simple Things

Simple, unimaginable fun – jumping in leaves. I remember when I was a little girl, my entire family would rake leaves together in piles all over the yard… and I’d take my turn jumping right into the middle of it! We don’t have very many trees in our yard at all, and yet Jesse has enjoyed the very same thrill that I used to enjoy! Jumping in leaves, crunching them under his feet, laughing and enjoying the simplest of moments!

Today I am thankful for simple entertainment.

Say Cheese!

Today was picture day, a friend of mine went in with me and we did our portraits with our kids together in order to get a great price on a package. I don't order school photos from Ezra's school, the idea of ordering something before you see it doesn't suit me at all! Our appointment was pushed behind over 1 hour, there were at minimum 50 people, rudeness, parents who didn’t even watch their kids, all in a room the size of your average fast food restaurant. One of the main photography cameras broke, the cd burner broke, and the lights in the photography rooms allowed a comfy temperature of at least 78degrees!! This + toddlers who don’t want to sit still + toddlers who are hungry + toddlers who are sleepy = pandemonium!! Jesse lost it during the last 5 min, and we ended up waiting in the car and having a snack while they printed our photos. Ezra did his best to help out, but there was a point of no return when hunger and over stimulation and general boredom set in. We spent a total of 3 hours there, and ended up with some great photos. Of course I’m humoring myself with this post, and we survived just fine – it was not life altering. I’m not sure that I can say the same for some of the other parents I saw and heard as we were leaving HA!!

Today I am thankful for people with a sense of humor.

Random

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. ~Joe Houldsworth I thought of that quote when I took this picture.

I tip-toed in to give Jesse a kiss before I went to bed. I’m selfish I suppose, I go in nightly and kiss his cheek while he’s in dreamland. I didn't do this everynigt like this until after my brother passed away, death has a way of making it clear that these types of moments are what make memories so precious. He never wakes, or even stirs – the photo was taken in the dark w/ a flash, he didn’t even wince. What’s funny, is that he was sleeping the exact same way Jonathon sleeps – arm back, knees up!

Today I am thankful for random acts of kindness. Today’s random act of kindness was bestowed upon my family – and without mentioning who, and what, I am completely grateful.

JA Biztown

Ezra’s entire 4th grade class took a trip along with 12000 other CMS 4th graders this week to JA BizTown! In his technology and IB class they have been focusing on learning how to function in the ‘grown-up world’. Hands-on activities such as, check writing, savings accounts, jobs, deducting taxes from earned wages, etc. The trip was something he was completely excited about!! He was a drink vendor for the entire day, from 930am-215pm he worked a REAL job! He got a lunch break!! He told me that his lunch break didn’t seem near long enough in order to allow him time to cash his check at the bank, and get to the food court to eat lunch, then get back to work. He passed out drinks from behind the counter for other kids lunchs, snack breaks, etc. They were issued realistic checks, check books, and required to balance, deduct, and understand taxes! He visited a medical building, the bank, the newspaper publishing center, city hall, a real estate company; all in all this was an impressive set up of a grown up world!

This curriculam and project provides a hands-on learning lab, teaches skills he can use throughout his life; opens the door to career exploration; shapes attitudes toward responsibilities and opportunities; increases self-confidence and understanding of economic concepts; and develops leadership skills. All of which Ezra has made immeasurable improvement on. He was eager to be part of a team, eager to do his part, and absolutely eager to spend his money (not at all surprising, HA) Ezra even had his picture featured in the JA BizTown Newspaper!!

Today I am thankful for my 9 year old’s ‘go for it’ attitude! His willingness to take on a project like this one is a huge step forward from the shy, more reserved boy he has been!!

2 kids + Paper = Creativity!

On Veterans Day both boys sat down to do a little artwork, it’s hard to see when scanned in, but you can expand the photos to see it better. I helped Jesse along with his a bit, and that part is obvious on his art. HA! Ezra is into hotwheels right now, so he drew a car.

Today I am thankful for having a front row seat to 2 children’s imagination. Great things are ahead for both of these boys!!

Life Lessons

One of the hardest lessons for me to learn as a parent has been that it’s just not all about me. Today is a perfect example. Before I had kids, I had to have my living area (apartment or house – wherever I was at the time) in tip top shape. I’ve always had a desire to keep things ‘in order’. Today, that was NOT the case! By the end of the afternoon, I was either stepping on or over every toddler toy imagined. It took all of 5 min to tidy up once I was in a position to do that, but during the day, Jesse and I played and learned together! When he napped, I didn't clean - I worked!

With two kids in the house playing and learning, and enjoying themselves – everyday isn’t a neat day inside of these 4 walls. A toddler tornado, a 9 year old boy who likes to let his closet take the brunt of his toy storm…

Upon becoming familiar with my role as a mother I had epiphany … It’s not about impressing the neighbors. It’s not about out-doing anyone. It’s not about fitting the mold I’ve created in my head of what makes a mother good. It’s about the smiles on the two boys faces that live in this house! It’s pretty simple; it’s no longer all about me.

Today, and everyday for that matter, I am thankful to be a mother.

Monday Musings

Today is Veterans Day – Ezra has the day off from school; so we went for much needed haircuts for boys! Jesse is almost 2, and each haircut seems to be more intolerable to him, he’s impatient and they can’t do it fast enough according to him. End result, two boys who look sharp! Jesse’s sporting the baby cut that’s kind of long on top and shabby showing off his little curls, and Ezra’s sporting a traditional buzz cut – he has massive cow licks!

The rest of the day we just hung out, took it easy and listened to the Music Channel on cable together while playing for several hours in our living room. Jesse is in the monkey see monkey do phase, copying everything Ezra does – both positive and negatives to that one!! It’s fun to watch them play together. We had both of their toys in the room and they do well together.

The photo is titled ‘Breakfast with Bear’. This is Jesse’s new fav. thing to do in the morning, hang out on the couch with bear, milk and breakfast. Sometimes we take daddy’s favorite throw blanket and cover Jesse’s feet and bear’s feet so they’re all cozy together. He will sit there until his breakfast is all gone! So far, the bear hasn’t been violated by force feeding from the toddling one. That day is coming soon I’m sure!

I am thankful for our veterans, both living and deceased, and for the freedoms they fought for.

Get up and go

Back to the lighter side of things… I am thankful for the makers of single coffee pods… we never keep soda or any other items with caffeine in our home, just our personal preference. I do cherish my single cup coffee maker every morning. It’s my little boost of ‘go’ each morning! I needed it today, the change in time has really been a fun adjustment for a toddler who seems to enjoy waking by the sunlight! So what USED to be 730am wake up, as now started as early as 6am!! He plays contently and quietly in his crib until I come get him, and I make sure I get him up no later then 7am. Either way, I'm not a morning person until AFTER the coffee!!

Organized Chaos

Today I am thankful for 2 year olds!! Today we went to a 2 year old’s birthday party. Jesse had a blast! The definition of a 2 year old's birthday could easily be 'organized chaos'; and truly a joy!!

Fall Leaves

Today I am thankful for nature’s works of art; the changing of the leaves each year is just a silent reminder of how nature works it’s wonders. This photo was taken in our neighborhood.

Remember when...

Today I am thankful for memories. Isn’t it nice to have memories of our past to cherish, laugh outloud at, cry about, and then there are those that we might would rather forget – those are the ones we’ve learned from. All of which make us who we are!

The photos in the slide show below really did bring memories back!

Sunsets

Today I’m thankful for sunsets. The photo doesn't even do the actual view justice; the sunset was beautiful.

Simple works for me!

On the lighter side of things… Today I’m thankful for easy recipes that please my family! My friend shared one of her fav’s with me and it went over well with the family! It makes me happy when we try something new and it works for everyone! 4 ingredient meatloaf ... thanks Julie!

Day and Night

Time changes. Literally. It's dark earlier, and that is frustrating a bit. I like to go outside after dinner with my family. So now we're trying to make a new little routine. I love fall, the time changing is the only part that I could do with out! The leaves are changing, and there are some beautiful red trees in the neighborhood already.


Jesse is not a fan of the sunlight in his room at 6am. I think I'll try to find one of those blackout curtains for his room. He still sleeps until 7-715am, but starts stirring around at 6am when the sun is blaring in through his curtain. Ezra has always been our son who's up with the sun - so he's up and moving earlier now too... I wonder if that will ever change? When he's a teen, will he get up at the crack of dawn worried that he may miss something? I doubt it, HA!!


Today I am thankful for having a comfortable bed to sleep in - that may seem silly... I realize that there are homeless, and people who are without. After a long day, with the weekend time change being a bit confusing for my little toddler - it's nice to have my comfy bed to fall asleep in.

2 of a kind

Yesterday after the big surprise, I went to pick up my nephew. He was in town with some family to watch a race event, and I live so close by that it just made sense to make the best of that time! So he came over for a bit and we talked, laughed, and cried a little. He's growing into a man so quickly, and carries himself so much like my brother.

Today is Haleigh's birthday, my niece. She is 10 today. At 10, she's faced alot of adversity, and she just recently lost her daddy. Yet, she still manages to giggle and laugh when I call her. She's growing up so fast!! My brother who passed away left behind two precious and amazing kids. He set a foundation with them, good morals, self-esteem, and in general, just good kids. I hope this continues for them both, I have trust that it will.

I am thankful for having had such a wonderful brother, he makes me proud each time I see or talk to his children.

Suprise!!

Today Jonathon's brother came in from Texas for a surprise visit for his birthday. Jonathon's birthday was actually the 31st of October, and his brother actually arrived last night... but today was surprise day. The entire family has been behind this grand scheme and kept it quite a secret from him. We met at a restaurant for lunch and Jonathon's dad and brother arrived separately from his mom and us. Michael (his brother) managed to come in, sit down beside Jonathon without him even noticing, and he put his hand on his shoulder and said 'happy birthday!' and Jonathon's expression was PRICELESS. I wish I could have captured that moment. He'll be visiting for a few days with us all - it's a treat to have him here!

Today - I am thankful to see happiness in the ones I love. Watching those I love smile, just makes me so happy!!

Update on 'ripped off'

Earlier this week I received 300.00 worth of NutriSystem at my door! How funny is that? Someone stole MY debit card number, used it to buy 700.00 worth of goodies, including this particular shipment, used my HUSBANDS name to ship it, and somehow managed to get it sent to OUR address? Maybe the card 'bill to' information is public, I don't know. I called today and spoke to NutriSystem and they are picking it back up - I could lose 10 pounds maybe, if that, but not for 300.00. No thanks, I think I'll stick to walking - that's free! The bank AND these companies who received my card information by fruad have been completely understanding. It's hard to come by that these days!

Today - I am thankful for those who are understanding.

California

My wonderful friend Susan and her daughter were in Virginia visiting her family for 3 weeks. She moved to California from Charlotte not too long ago and I've missed her soooo much! So on her way back to California she made an overnight stop to visit with us. It was SO nice to hang out with her!! I didn't take any pictures, because I'm lame and forgot. Susan took some, so as soon as I get them from her by email, I'll post one of Katie and Jesse hanging out!

Today is the first day of NaBloPoMo, or National Blog Posting Month, I haven't entered on the NaBloPoMo site-I like my privacy; but I have decided to be a part of the 30 Days of Thanks hosted by boogiemum. I will commit myself to this, even if all I blog is my thankfulness each day - I need to do this for me. Things in my life have seemed sad and I need to remind myself of what I have, and what I'm still thankful for each and every day!

Today I am thankful for good friends.

Halloween Festivities

We took Jesse and Ezra to Concord Mills Mall for indoor Trick-o-Treat from 6-7. They have so much going on there, candy, toys, stickers, books, etc. The Police Department even had some officers there passing out candy! The boys had a blast, and it was so safe! Afterwards, Jonathon took Ezra for more candy hunting in a friend's neighborhood. Jesse and I came home and passed out candy to our n'hood kids. There were TONS of kids!! Overall - we have candy overload! We typically don't do candy in our house, so we'll keep it for about 1-2 weeks and then dump it.

Today was also Jonathon's birthday - hard to celebrate his birthday on Halloween with 2 kids; I baked his favorite cake and he enjoyed his cards and gift. His gift is a xbox game that is not yet released, so he got an IOU!! We're celebrating his birthday this Saturday with family.

The finished product

Here's the pumpkin we carved. I scooped it clean, with the help of Susan who was visiting from CA! Ezra and Jonathon cut and carved it (Jonathon drew the face by hand!) and then we put it outside for all of the trick or treaters to see!

Crafts by Ezra

This week Ezra had 2 days off from school; so we decided to use that time for crafts and some fun learning. Here are two of the crafts he completed. One is a homemade haunted house complete with a door, lantern, windows, bats, pumpkin, ghosts and even a little cemetary, created with construction paper, imagination and an empty OJ container! The other is his little white pumpkin that he picked on his own at the pumpkin patch. We used markers, felt stickers and decorated it together.