oh - and I love my hair chick.

She rocks my hair. I can't hardly style it as good as she can, but man she is gifted with those scissors in my opinion!! I gave her a picture, and she worked magic!

Misty ROCKS!!

finding my focus

I found my focus on that flower there... with my good camera...

recently switched to iPhone and found a snazzy app that makes pics look aged; thanks to my cool friend Sharnee ... its not in focus, but the subject is clearly family...

my close friend Jenn took these pictures; I'm not at all a fan of being serious in candid shots - so I may look like a total GOOBER in both - but those are my boys - and we've been spending some serious quality time together. I realize now, more then ever, how very precious this time is with my kiddos.

Now that's funny - to me, anyway.

A relative sent me this recently by email, and I enjoyed it a bit. I had to clean it up some but here - enjoy. And if you don't enjoy it, well, I'm sorry about that part. I have a weird sense of humor.

If you are 30, or older, you might think this is hilarious!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways. yadda, yadda, yadda

I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our butts! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and screw it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

There weren't any cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY!!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons!

We didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

Our parents told us to stay outside and play.. all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!

And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were luckily, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place! See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have no idea!! You guys probably wouldn't last five minutes if you were flashed back to 1980 or any time before!

mama's new 'do'

I haven't had a new "style" in years; so last night I went and got the hair style changed a bit. I'm diggin it so far, it's definately different!!

BEFORE AFTER

That's right, rockin some bangs - I haven't had bangs since highschool!!!

a game plan?

I visited a surgeon this morning, who reviewed my scans, and other tests. After 3 months (my first post about this problem is HERE)of visiting different doctors, for various reasons, but all for the same basic complaint - I may have a game plan. He explained to me that it's 80% likely that removing my gall bladder will solve my pain. There's that chance of me being in the 20%ile of people who do not get pain relief after gall bladder removal. I COULD have an ulcer, I COULD have IBS, or some type of gastro-intestinal issue. He does not feel like what I have is presenting itself in a very obvious manner, but it does fit most of the criteria for a diseased gall bladder. He was very understanding, and realizes that I'm losing my mind with this! My frustration level is pegged, and I'm tired of popping pills EVERY DAY!

He suggested I go back on the 2 meds that were previously given to me for a potential Peptic Ulcer, and said if my problems are resolved simply by taking those meds that he does NOT want to do surgery. However, if the pain still persists then I likely need my diseased gall bladder removed. That it functions at 62% makes it one of those decisions that I get to make on my own. Anything below 50% they suggest removal. It's close, and it's very likely causing me some of the discomfort I have on a regular basis.

I'm just ready to feel better. I'm ready to toss out the pill bottles. So for now, surgery is scheduled for late January.

what a surprise it was...

Please do click to enlarge each photo... it's worth it

My husband is an artist. Do you see this???? This is what he does for a living. He took OUR best creations (well, ours along with the man upstairs, of course) and turned them into works of art.
And I may be biased.... but I believe that these are by far HIS best art creations yet.

My children. How gorgeous are our children. These portraits are absolutely the likeness of each boy.

Their simple expressions, and beautiful eyes. That says it all.

I had the best Christmas gifts EVER!!

counting my chickens...

Just found out that I should get MY car back tomorrow!!! Not the car that was WRECKED, but MY car. The one that was towed in to because of a dead battery, and turned out that it was not towed properly and the 4WD was ruined. So after everything, and 1 wrecked loaner car plus 4 separate rental cars later - I get to drive MY car again!!! MAN I've missed it!!!

YAY!!!!

*sidenote - Nationwide has been my insurance company for over 15 years, and they really WERE on my side. They went to bat for me to help me handle this with the tow service. I'm just glad it's finally getting repaired!

**second sidenote & life lesson # 2,311,379 IF you own a Honda Element - get it towed on a rollback style tow truck IF you happen to break down.....

a well planned surprise....Day 21

Day 21

Around 1pm today I was sitting at my coffee table clipping coupons and getting ready to make a grocery list and my phone rang, it was my friend Susan from CA. She and I have been friends for some time, she lived here and we met though a mommy/playdate type forum and our friendship grew from there. She and her husband moved to CA not long ago with a job change, and I've missed her SO much!! We rely on each other by phone, by email and by IM pretty much daily. We're seriously like bosom buddies, we may have been sisters in a former life... I can absolutely trust her with my feelings, opinion, and thoughts and I know that she's ALWAYS honest with me with her friendship. Those kinds of friends in life are keepers, and our living thousands of miles apart does not change our ability to be "there" for each other in almost every way.

She's in from CA to Virginia to visit her own family for the holidays, she along with her 3yo daughter Katie. I had sent her a email last week asking her what her plans were for this weekend because I really wanted to go try to visit her in VA and she told me that she was visiting a friend up in northern VA and wouldn't be able to meet with me this time.... I was selfishly disappointed.

However... I didn't know that she and my husband were planning a little sneak-a-visit of their own for ME!! When my phone rang, and I was clipping coupons, I saw that it was her and I answered, and I said "hello" and she asked how I was feeling and I told her like CRAP, and she said "wait, do you hear an echo??" I couldn't really make out what she said, and I said "what???" and then around the corner of my kitchen she walked. Honestly, if crying didn't hurt I'd have probably sat there and bawled my eyes out. And for a moment or two during her visit - I did. After my really CRAP week, it was the absolute BEST evening I could ask for. Dinner, drinks, laughter, and friends - that's what I'm talkin about people.

Our kids had so much fun hanging out too ;-)

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~Elisabeth Foley

a shout out

Day 20

I'm usually not the medication type. I prefer to TRY to heal w/o modern meds, but there IS a time and place for them (you know this if you've read about my gall bladder fiasco)... so, to the makers of Vicodin®, Skelaxin®, and 800 mg Ibuprophin - I'd like to kiss your faces and say thanks for helping reduce some of the pain my body feels. I'm not going to pretend I'm superwoman, I hurt like CRAZY and it really isn't what I expected. But the docs are saying that 40mph impact when I was completely stopped is fairly significant...

Long story short - whiplash SUCKS.

Either way, if I didn't have the medication it'd be pretty hard to function with the neck and back pain. So I'm grateful for modern meds!

I'll blame the pills....

I wrote this about 2 weeks ago and just never posted it...

I'm on a good bit of meds, I'm sure I'll write some crazy post about that later..... so, my soapbox is brought on today by Klonipin mixed with some tears and thoughts about happier times, and filled with hopes and dreams for my future and for the future of our family and our kids... It's a long post - so if you stopped by for my usual quick photo and some short words - sorry, not today. Today - it's more like a mini rant and one that makes very little sense at that...

so what if it's not perfection

How important is your overall family closeness these days? My personal opinion...just like the old saying, everything starts and ends with family. Is it important that your family be so close that you know every good or bad deed that a member of your family has done? Not to me, maybe it used to be - but recently I've went from jaded about conflicts, and angry about deaths, to humbled about holding on tight to what's left... all in a whirlwind of major changes. Losses from deaths in my family, and grieving other losses, and suddenly - whamo - I've realized I'm not superhuman and I need my family - my peeps! The hubs and I talk alot about this and that, and it's important to us that our family whether near or far, be a part of shaping and molding our kids - because that's where are kids 'come from'! (that's a major run on sentence) My pipe dream = letting my kids know their roots - every single one of them. Somewhere I once heard it takes a village to raise a child.... I'm thinkin that village included family peeps. We haven't really tapped into the total wealth of that village - and I realize now more then ever, how very large our family is. I have family through marriage, and stepbrothers and sisters and nieces and nephews for days, and I hope to get to know them much better in the coming months since the holidays are around the corner!

Funded.... my reality Check

Speaking of family, I want to thank those in our family who have been there for me recently. I've never been in such a chaotic state of mind as I have been over the past month. I've had nuclear dye, iodine, barium shakes which literally blow arse btw, radiation from xrays and various other hospital cocktails provided to me in order to seek out what's going with my innards. So far the consensus is that I have a poorly functioning gall bladder (but not poorly enough for them to take it out??blows) and a couple of cysts. One on my liver, and one on my ovary. I also scored relatively high on a test, 1/640 on my ANA Titer rate, and pretty darn high on my SMA test too.... however, it seems that YAY - I'm a-symptomatic so I go back in a few months to see the Rheumy doc. Still more tests to come, and more about deciding what to do about it all.

My my reality check was that I was very discouraged and then my family and friends lifted me up and reminded me how, and where to find peace. I am reminded that there are no guarantee's in this life and that we should seek out the good in every day and not waste an ounce of it. I'm thankful to have been humbled, yet again, and realize now more then ever that this life, my life, is so precious of a gift.

accepting that somethings just "are"....

...isn't as easily done as it is said. However, in order to be happy in this life I am learning to accept that change is just something you get back after cashing in your "reality check". And what I do with that "change" is up to me. Me??? I plan to put it in my memory bank and spend it wisely...

I'm sure you've read or heard the serenity prayer and it should be my life's motto - but recently I stumbled upon a modified version that seems to just fit where I am right now in my life, because in this life if you want a change, that change has to start within you, right? Just for the record - I realize I am a nutjob lately.... I'm embracing the inner chaos.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me."

~Author unknown

...but if the dead could talk.

Deep post title? Maybe I'm turning my blog into an "all about me" trend lately, but let's face it - it is my blog, so I'm journaling my life. I've already printed all of my blog(s) through sharedbook.com and love that my kids will have a journey and journal to read someday... maybe they won't think I'm a loon for writing from the heart.... Soon I promise I'll get back to posting fluffy happy fun photos of my kiddo's and such... but for now - I need to vent.

Driving down the road crying....

I admit it, and am ok with it. I was crying as I was driving. My 3yo was rocking out to Imagination Movers in the back seat with the speakers set to the rear and fairly loud. Me, wearing my obnoxiously large sunglasses with tears streaming down my face. Why? Because I feel broken, (see several other posts about how being sick sucks) and worn down. I was crying... my eyes out. Silent mommy sobs, do you know the type? The type when your little one says "mommy can you get my drink cup for me" you can suddenly switch from sobbing mommy to "sure thing baby" in a flip of a switch... that was me - 2 days ago.

Then my phone rang....

My 17 year old nephew called me, to say hi, and he realized I was crying. I tried to hide it from him, but he's smart - that kid. He pulled the "I'm not a kid, I know somethings wrong, so talk to me". I told him, "I'm scared" and we talked about the medical tests, etc., and he said "what are you scared of?" I got quiet. I said, "I'm thinking selfishly, and I'm too ashamed to tell you what I'm scared of...." he said "Aunt S~ Just tell me, I'm here to listen".... so I did. I told him I was scared of something being terribly wrong and me leaving my kids behind.... very much like with his father's death. Sudden.

Then I got learned a lesson or two....

...from a boy, or young man rather, who is wise WAY beyond his years (and I don't even think he knows it). He said "when daddy had his first reaction the year before he died and was put on a ventilator and literally died then - but they saved him, he knew leaving the hospital that his life would forever be about what if it happens again... but it didn't stop him from living each day to the fullest, and enjoying the moment. Aunt S~, if you are spending your time worrying about "what if" then you're wasting what time you are given to enjoy right NOW." I sobbed. Then he said more... my nephew is strong in his faith and reminded me that sometimes in life, things happen to us to prepare us or thicken our skin for bigger, harder times. And maybe, this is a test of my faith.

All I could do was smile and cry...

I couldn't say much back to that, and he had to get off the phone right quick. But you know, today 3 times today that young man has remembered me - and called me, text messaged me, and called again - all to see how I AM DOING. What a man he has become, and how proud am I to be called his Aunt. Between having gone through his parents divorcing when he was younger, and growing up with BOTH of his parents raising him to stick to family values even through that divorce, they agreed that what was important was to make sure that he was raised to live his life with values... You have NO CLUE how much he made me think.... I do feel like total crap, and went back to the doctor today with more abnormal labwork (will post later) but here's a young man, who's daddy is gone forever, who's a teenager, probably has some girl chasing him around, and has better things to do then to call his crazy arse Aunt who's freaking out.... but he did - and that's because he has a great set of family values and he has morals that are inflexible. I'm thankful to have him in my life, what I've wanted more then anything these past few weeks is to talk to my brother (and believe me I've done that outloud) but obviously I can't hear him talk back - what I've found is that he speaks to me even though he's not here. His value system, and ethics are forever embedded in those kids. I'm not too ashamed to say that my 17 year old nephew schooled me on 'having some hope and living for today'. Thanks N - you rock.

when fluff isn't enuf

I've been posting fluff here and there and recently decided to let go and post about a problem that's really bugging me. A medical mystery, I'm walking around in my body wondering - what is wrong? Physically wrong. So - thanks to many encouraging emails, tweets and comments from my bloggieland gang - I'm posting about what is REALLY going on.... So, I'm sorry in advance for the buzz kill.

Today - I went to the Rheumatologist, he's a terrific doctor. My mom met me there, thank heavens - I really needed her. He pr6vided me with alot of information, but no real "leads" as to this mystery of what's going on inside of me. He did make me feel less of a freak for the panic attacks, reminding me that the brain can really really have a "mind of it's own" when it comes to emotions, triggers, and such. He assured me that he understood my panic, and that I had a valid reason for feeling it - even though I DONT WANT THE DANG PANIC!! I can't control it.

His take on my ANA Titer rate being 1:640 speckled.... well, it was that same pattern in 2004, then in 2005 when I was pregnant, I went back to "normal" which was 1:80 - he explained thats often the case during pregnancy. My pregnancy was 'high risk' because I carry the "lupus factor" but I had ZERO symptoms during the pregnancy.... after the pregnancy, in 2006 - back to 1:640. And here we are again with those same numbers. I'm "a-symptomatic", I have obvious raynauds disease and we've known that for 5 years (my original reason for going to him)... my feet turn solid blue just in a regular air conditioned room. My fingers turn white and blue and hurt terribly in a grocery store in the freezer/dairy area - this has been 'normal' for me for about 8 years now...this doesn't hinder my daily activities, and is really more of a nuisance than anything... and has nothing at all to do with my current symptoms!! But for future reference, I'm walking around with the Lupus "factor".... it's just good to know that he doesn't feel like that's what it is - THIS time. THANKFULLY.

SO - long story short, next thing to do, he took 6 very large tubes of blood (which may explain why I feel like total crap right now) in order to do further autoimmune testing... and then get a Hida Scan next Tuesday at 10am to see if my gall bladder is the cause. Pain in my upper right abdomen, under ribs, radiates from there to my back, up to my shoulders, and today - it decided it would radiate to my left side. I hate this - call me a whiner, because I'm being one.... I'm for once in my life as weak as I can be. Mentally I'm drained, weak and not at all ashamed to admit it. I'm losing my mind, or at least I feel like I am.

So today, just as I thought I was about to lose my mind, I opened a bag my mom gave me as I was leaving... and inside was a sweet card and this Willow Tree figurine "Hope lifts us up".

"Hope lifts us up"

worried, scared, and trying to keep it together

This post has been a struggle. Do I want to write it or not? Anyway - here it is...

I'm not sure what's going one with me. I'm SCARED. I've been having chronic pain that is in my upper right side, near the lower rib cage area, that radiates to my back, and center abdomen as well as near my right kidney area and upper right shoulder blade. I have no nausea or vomiting (classic gallbladder symptoms) and 2 weeks ago a ultrasound at the hospital ruled out gall stones. I'm paranoid. The doctor started treating me for an ulcer, which has relieved SOME of the symptoms in the center abdomen, and has also given me a medication for anxiety attacks. Because I'm having them, full on anxiety attacks. While I'm writing this - my mind is in a million places, and alot of those thoughts are bad ones - like - what if's and then I get into a panic....

I'm scared to death, did I mention that? My doctor ran several lab tests, and everything came back "normal" except my ANA Titer rate which was the one test that I randomly requested. It came back 1:640 speckled. This is a test that is used as a diagnostic tool in autoimmune diseases, but isn't limited to autoimmune. I have an appointment with a rheumatologist on Wednesday. The test results could mean alot of things, and the Internet is my enemy - because "alot of things" turn out to be pretty bad things when I look them up. My symptoms are internal. I'm freaking out - the pain isn't getting any better, it's a constant problem - every day, all day. I am taking Tylenol every 4 hours to dull the pain, as per the doctors orders - because she feels like it may possibly be 'referred pain' if it is gall bladder disease. So I'm giving Elvis a run for his money with the amount of meds I'm taking, both OTC and prescribed...

I'm supposed to hear back about an appointment for Hida Scan next week. I was told by the doctor that you can have a diseased gallbladder and have no stones... But what explains the titer rate?? I'm trying my best to have faith and keep a positive attitude - but that kindof gets hard somedays....

show my face

I sent this picture to my dad while he was at the beach, because he's been so concerned about me. I text messaged him so he could see, I even put on a little makeup and smiled today.

I scored a new Blackberry Tour last week, and the camera feature is supposed to be decent on it so I thought I'd try it out on myself. It's rare that I'm in pictures, because I'm the one who's often taking them! I usually don't leave home w/o the DSLR or the little Nikon S700 - but today, I took a quick snapshot and figured I'd do something rare and show my face on here.

Little J and I had a birthday party to go to and I thought it was time to quit looking like total poo and get my butt in gear for once. So - I halfway did makeup and hair, so now you have a face to go with my blog posts.

alot to say....

Whatever it is, it hurts...

Doctor is calling it an ulcer for now, and it hurts like crazy. They've almost ruled out gall bladder, ultrasound showed no stones, but because of my symptoms, I may have to go for another test on that. They took all of my blood (well, not literally) but I'm waiting on that to come back... I take lots of meds all day. I just want to be healthy, for my family, and for my sanity. If you're a praying person, then send some up please.... and for those of you who don't pray, I'll ask again that you do whatever you do when someone needs that extra bit of hope and encouragement...

Thanks

Thanks to my husband for being patient with me, and being a good dad and making sure my kids are happy all while mommy's sick. Thanks to the friend who sent me the card last week telling me she was pulling for me. Thanks to the friend who puts up with my whininess (is that a word? and if it is, is it spelled right?) on the Internet then phone, and even dealt with my bit&hiness. Thanks to my friend who "gets it" when it comes to my panic, and keeps me focused during the day with tweets and texts. Thanks to the friend who drove from her house tonight just to make sure I was ok, while her babies were at home with their gma watching over them while they slept. Thanks to my mom, for driving 2.5 hours at 5am to my house un-announced 3 times in the past 2 weeks to arrive in time to ride with me to take the kid to school, all to let me cry on her shoulder because I have no idea what's going on inside of me. Thanks to mom for also sitting with me while I was at a hospital having tests ran, because the doctors are trying to figure out what's going on... Thanks to my dad who's sat with me at the doctors office just like I was a little kid who needed their daddy.... because I did need him -and I needed him to reassure me that I wasn't crazy AND my doctor that I've never been a hypochondriac!! Thanks to both mom and dad, for tolerating my constant calls - and realizing that for once in my life I actually DO need them (until now I their was super independent daughter). Thanks to my brother, who has called multiple times every day for the past 3 weeks, just to check in on me. Thanks to my aunts and uncles who send me emails and prayers. Thanks to my mother in law and father in law for indulging my tearful moments. Thanks to the friend who I haven't seen in YEARS for offering up her husband to come over and baby sit because he just happens to work in my town....and I've never even met him (love you and you know who you are).... thanks to all my bloggy friends and other friends who've given me a nudge of encouragement while I'm feeling down.

Just wanted to basically say thanks. I've been down, and you realized it, and I needed you - and you all just make it easier to deal with. I don't think it gets said often enough, by me, and in general. Family that sticks by, friends who see you through, and bloggy friends I've never even met are great to have, lately I've felt like life was the shoe and I am the bug - and I'm getting stomped.

seeking clarity

I'm still around, and will try to get back to my normal blogging self soon....

Went to the doctor for some fairly strange physical symptoms, then opened up a can of emotions and then just weirdness....

I'm not a nut case (well ok maybe I am), but I am evidently very depressed or having panic attacks. To the point, it's affecting me physically, and I'm allowing morbid thoughts about my own mortality to consume me and having fears about life/death/etc. that consume my thoughts. There's some physical things going on, and I hope to get some resolve on those - but for now, my physician thinks everything stems from the last 5 years when stress, traumatic events, major life events, relationship changes due to death and various other reasons, major changes in our lives. It all seemed to be physical - fatigue, appetite loss, then in a snap it turned into crying, pure panic, fears, sadness, worry, etc.

Just being honest. I promise not to write a bunch of soppy crap on here that makes whoever reads my blog sad too.... just like to be honest about who I am, and what I'm dealing with.

Pray for me.... and those of you who read this that don't pray, do what you do too....

Thanks ....

Just wanted to say thanks to all of the phone calls,twitter tweets (Julie - YES my phone exploded), facebook comments, emails, and cards for my birthday - you guys are the bestest!

I managed to get flowers 2 times today!!

Below is a photo of one of my favorite blooms in one of the bouquets!

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved;

loved for ourselves, or rather in spite of ourselves.
~Victor Hugo

I haven't been posting alot...

....because I've been reading, about learning and planning...

on how to be better at allowing learning to happen. {I've been learning}

...and because I've opened my mind.

We'll see where this takes us... right now all I know is that it's sure to be a fun filled summer full of little opportunities to learn a little more everyday right here in the community and at home. Even on vacation, both boys were absorbing, and learning...
"Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand."

it's kindof hokey....

.... but we couldn't resist! We took this pic on our last stop before heading home from the beach. The better camera was tucked away in the car, so I grabbed the one I keep in my purse and we just couldn't go by one of these without stopping. Not to mention - Ben & Jerrys happens to be my FAVORITE icecream of all time. Especially Cherry Garcia, mmmm yum...

The summer is here, and I've been a slacker all around lately with posting AND with keeping up with friends on the web. Just trying to enjoy the summer, the kids, and life in general...

.....oh, and I've also been busy killing spiders. eek. Maybe I'll post a picture of one of the black widows I killed... or would that be too creepy?? I'm betting my dad will hope I don't do that!!!

oh my those are huge!!

Just rummaging through the photos from when we went to the lazy 5 ranch on Mothers Day and I ran across this one....

I'm never in pictures, because I'm usually the person taking them, so when the hubs decided to take some pics of me and the boys it didn't turn as well as planned.... I should post the entire set of photos that he took during the time at this fence, but this one is just funny to me.... one kid is really worried about the gigantic set of horns coming up after us, the other kid is in some other world, and me - I look like I have a cow horn in my head and of course, I'm in NO way prepared for a photo!!! These are the best kinds of memories for me, absolutely random moments with the kids.

Sure was a big set of horns on that one...