Tuesday, September 1, 2009

seeking clarity


I'm still around, and will try to get back to my normal blogging self soon....

Went to the doctor for some fairly strange physical symptoms, then opened up a can of emotions and then just weirdness....

I'm not a nut case (well ok maybe I am), but I am evidently very depressed or having panic attacks. To the point, it's affecting me physically, and I'm allowing morbid thoughts about my own mortality to consume me and having fears about life/death/etc. that consume my thoughts. There's some physical things going on, and I hope to get some resolve on those - but for now, my physician thinks everything stems from the last 5 years when stress, traumatic events, major life events, relationship changes due to death and various other reasons, major changes in our lives. It all seemed to be physical - fatigue, appetite loss, then in a snap it turned into crying, pure panic, fears, sadness, worry, etc.

Just being honest. I promise not to write a bunch of soppy crap on here that makes whoever reads my blog sad too.... just like to be honest about who I am, and what I'm dealing with.
Pray for me.... and those of you who read this that don't pray, do what you do too....

4 comments:

sharnee said...

I'll be doing what I do :-)
Sorry to hear this. Hope you're ok. xx

WackyMummy said...

(((hugs))) and good thoughts going out to you. You'll get through it... you're stronger than you often realize (that's what life has taught me). Take good care of yourself, too. =)

mommaruth said...

If talking/blogging about it helps to heal and makes you feel better, then by all means go ahead and let it out. There's no shame in putting your thoughts, your sorrows and your worries out there for others to read and remorse with. We're all here for support - you take your time and do what's best for you.

Susan said...

Love you :)