Saturday, October 3, 2009

worried, scared, and trying to keep it together

This post has been a struggle. Do I want to write it or not? Anyway - here it is...

I'm not sure what's going one with me. I'm SCARED. I've been having chronic pain that is in my upper right side, near the lower rib cage area, that radiates to my back, and center abdomen as well as near my right kidney area and upper right shoulder blade. I have no nausea or vomiting (classic gallbladder symptoms) and 2 weeks ago a ultrasound at the hospital ruled out gall stones. I'm paranoid. The doctor started treating me for an ulcer, which has relieved SOME of the symptoms in the center abdomen, and has also given me a medication for anxiety attacks. Because I'm having them, full on anxiety attacks. While I'm writing this - my mind is in a million places, and alot of those thoughts are bad ones - like - what if's and then I get into a panic....

I'm scared to death, did I mention that? My doctor ran several lab tests, and everything came back "normal" except my ANA Titer rate which was the one test that I randomly requested. It came back 1:640 speckled. This is a test that is used as a diagnostic tool in autoimmune diseases, but isn't limited to autoimmune. I have an appointment with a rheumatologist on Wednesday. The test results could mean alot of things, and the Internet is my enemy - because "alot of things" turn out to be pretty bad things when I look them up. My symptoms are internal. I'm freaking out - the pain isn't getting any better, it's a constant problem - every day, all day. I am taking Tylenol every 4 hours to dull the pain, as per the doctors orders - because she feels like it may possibly be 'referred pain' if it is gall bladder disease. So I'm giving Elvis a run for his money with the amount of meds I'm taking, both OTC and prescribed...
I'm supposed to hear back about an appointment for Hida Scan next week. I was told by the doctor that you can have a diseased gallbladder and have no stones... But what explains the titer rate?? I'm trying my best to have faith and keep a positive attitude - but that kindof gets hard somedays....

6 comments:

WackyMummy said...

So sorry to hear what you're going through. It's weird, though, like I understand because I'm having weird pain and tons of anxiety. I don't know what to do about it. I know letting it out (talking) helps. I feel for you... have tears in my eyes right now (and it's not just for me, either)... I keep hoping that life will ease up and things to get better... for everyone, you know? I will keep sending good thoughts and (((hugs))) your way. Stay strong. (Because you are, even if you don't feel it.) =)

Andrea said...

Oh how scary! I really hope that everything goes okay on Wednesday and that it's nothing serious - and that you feel better soon!!!

sharnee said...

Oh crap :( I'm really sorry to hear about this. Nothing worse than something going wrong that you can't quite identify. Thinking of you xx (ps: apologies for not having time to make the button yet! I haven't forgotten!)

punkinmama said...

punkinmama is so sorry to hear you're going through this! punkinmama wishes punkinmama could say something to make it all better. bassackwardsmama will be in punkinmama's thoughts and prayers. Please keep punkinmama and everyone updatezd on all of bassackwardsmama's tests. punkinmama wishes punkinmama could reach out and give bassackwardsmama a real life (((HUG))) right now.

[Okay, I wasn't going to write it like that, but hoped that I could give you a little chuckle if nothing else.]

Crunchy Domestic Goddess said...

sorry you are going thru all of this. i can totally relate to the anxiety. i've blogged about my anxiety disorder in the past. these symptoms i'm having now are definitely not helping any. ugh. hope we both get answers soon.

daddybookins said...

BassAckwardsMom,

Not knowing what is going on inside one's 'complex' body is definitely not a calming/assuring way to go about life. I/we can surely understand the anxiety portion of what you are presently going though, as a been there done that and going through again at this very moment. Most of what you posted is completely greek to me....the mrs. is very much more knowledgeable on such topics.

Sorry to hear what you are going through, and hopefully there will be some answers very soon! Talk our ears off or type your finger tips away...whatever helps you out. Sending good vibes your direction!!

Peas Out!
~daddy b

btw...I'm no dr...but is that much Tylenol good for you?