got individuality?

Websters defines the word as follows:

in·di·vid·u·al·i·ty
1. the particular character, or aggregate of qualities, that distinguishes one person or thing from others; sole and personal nature: a person of marked individuality.
2. state or quality of being individual; existence as a distinct individual.
3. the interests of the individual as distinguished from the interests of the community.

This post is self-indulgent and opinionated, so laugh at me for it, because that's what I'm trying to do about it now!

I was at a local playground yesterday, where there was a wide range of moms, grandparents, and dads with kids of various ages. The playground we happened to be at for this was the 2-5 year old playground. Where Ezra has fun hanging out with his brother on 'Jesse sized' big kid equipment, and there's standard swings and a rock climbing wall for the older kids... I'm sitting in a swing with Jesse, beside Ezra, and there are two moms lined up side by side beside us. We smiled and said hi, they asked how old my kids were...why is this always a topic of interest for most? I usually take it as their socially polite way to speak to another parent, which is fine... I told them 9, and 2. As usual, I got the ~gasp~ wow, they have a big age difference. So what? Does it take away from their individuality? Does it make them less of a sibling to one another? So I replied, yes, it is a big age difference. They almost seemed like they wanted me to find a huge complaint, or something to give credibility to their age difference. And as I swing with BOTH kids right there, they go on to have a personal conversation about their opinions of the con's of having kids so far apart and how they're glad theirs are 20 months part, or so. In my opinion, it was disrespectful (mostly because my 9yo is not a fool and he listens alot!) but it was a public park... so we got up and made our way to the play area.

There's the part of me that understands that some people are just politely curious, but the tone sends full clarity in their disapproval. The tone I received was all but "gosh, why would you ever have them so far apart?" You know, I'm an adult, if you think that then say it! I would then tell you that we didn't plan it, but it is the best thing for us and we couldn't imagine life any other way! I don't gasp when I see a mom with two kids in diapers, but then I really don't care... I just see a mom with two kids! Its just my opinion that anyone who DOES have kids should just really be focused on the kids. Not create some social competition with other parents on their opinion of when it's best to have them, how far apart, etc.

I don't know, maybe I'm overly reactive to someone making it seem like it's discouraging that my kids are just under 8 years apart.... or maybe it's really that in life, when people are talking about their lives, we don't allow enough credit or respect toward their own individuality. I should allow more credit and respect toward their opinions too, and likely would have if the tone hadn't been so clear. I'm raising my kids that when we're asking the question then we should respect the person's answer - or just not ask at all. Respecting the answer, doesn't mean you have to agree with it, or even understand it... just respect it! Instead we find ourselves (like me, in this case) analyzing their words, and tone, and wondering their sincerity as a result. Was it to point out that you're somehow better then us because of your choices? Isn't the entire point in life, to live it with individuality? Wouldn't the world be a boring place if we all thought the same, and did things the same? My feelings were hurt for my kids, because right there by strangers they were labeled as incompatible. Isn't it up to them in the long run?